Dublin’s 20 Commandments

Following up on other metblog cities, LA, OC; we decided to have 10 commandments for our fair city also. Thou as we started discussing about them at our facebook group, soon we realized we need more than just ten commandments and 10 are not enough for Dublin. After rounds and rounds of discussions :), behold and praise, Dublin Metblogs presents the 20 commandments of Dublin city (in no particular order):

  1. Thou shalt not vomit and piss in the street no matter how much you’ve drunk
  2. Thou shalt not patronize the intelligence of men by trying to make them believe that is your actual skin tone you orange faced tramp
  3. Thou shalt not go to to same club or bar week in week out but complain there’s nothing to do in Dublin
  4. Thou shalt not steal something just because it’s not bolted down
  5. Thou shalt acknowledge Ross O’Carroll Kelly is satire and not to be emulated
  6. Thou shalt bring an umbrella and/or a raincoat all year round. 365 days. No exception.
  7. Thou shalt bring a blank cheque with you when house viewing in order to beat the others from putting a deposit in for the place
  8. Thou shalt know the location of the nearest chipper or kebab shops or hotdog stands for your post-drinking evening supper
  9. Thou shalt book “free” flights with Ryanair, and bitches about all the extra charges you have to pay. What free? Then proceed to moan about the distance of its airport terminal – who had the idea of putting it in Timbuktu?
  10. Thou shalt always have some sort of festival to attend during week-ends
  11. Thou shalt not drive a Land Rover unless you are a farmer. Or have land to eh, rove
  12. Thou shalt not expect roadworks to be carried out at a convenient time ie; NOT rush hour on the Red Cow roundabout
  13. Thou shall recognize that Dublin Airport is NOT at the forefront of cosmopolitan international travel and that the DAA fuck up, a lot. Allow adequate time for journey to airport and inevitable row with brainless check-in staff over:
    a) Baggage allowance
    b) Charges relating to same
    c) Check-in time
    d) all of the above
  14. Thou shalt not name your children Meadow, Serendipity or Beau. Issabella is pushing it. You’re from Crumlin, sit down and behave yourself
  15. Thou shalt not plan an outing with the kids to Dublin Zoo. It will rain (yes, despite the recent ‘heatwave’ we’ve been having), The tigers will be at the vet, the penguins will be hibernating or something and the elephants will be off doing a nixer at Circus Vegas. It will not be a ‘fun day out’. You’ll be lucky if you don’t run over a deer in the Phoenix Park on your way there
  16. Though shalt only ride a bike when you are brave enough
  17. Though shalt only drive a car when you know how to do it and have shown so in an independent test
  18. Thou shalt be over-polite and if crossing a person even with a good 5 meters of distance thou should apologize for being in their way
  19. Thou shalt hold your umbrella well over your head so as to avoid jabbing people in the face with it. And just don’t even bother on windy days
  20. Thou shalt remember that service employees are human beings too

.. contributed by Lil, Tom, Chloe, Sheena, Frauke & Michael .. thanks everyone

If you think if we missed something, leave us a comment and we might even have an updated list with another 10!

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